To risk.. To love.. And to live without what ifs..

You can’t quit what you haven’t started

The world favors the bold

And those who take risks usually triumph at the end

While those who do not, crumbles in the abyss of “what ifs”

A friend told me once that if I like something,

I should try everything to get it

And not just sulk in a corner dreaming

But at the end of the day, cries to myself why I didn’t do anything about it!

Life isn’t fair

It never was, never is, and never will be

But if you do something to make it right

Then surely you’ll succeed in your dreams

Love is also the same thing

Sometimes it deceives you and tells you that there’s no hope

But actually you’re just seeing things blindly

Afraid that you’ll not get the same love in return

But have you tried pursuing the girl of your dreams

And thought that it might worth the risks?

Believe me, I’ve been there

And I’m happy now..

..for you I will..

i really like this poem.. i got this way back in college.. i dunno who wrote this though..

I cant give solutions to all of your life’s problems, doubts, or fears..

But I can listen to you, and together we will search for the answers..

I cant change your past with all its heartache and pain,

nor the future with its untold stories..

But I can be there now when you need me to care..

I cant keep your feet from stumbling..

I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall..

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;

yet I can share in your laughter..

Your decisions in life are not mine to make,

nor to judge;

I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask..

I cant prevent you from falling away from friendship,

from your values, from me..

I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you..

I can’t give you boundaries that I have determined for you,

but I can give you the room to change,

room to grow, room to be yourself..

I can’t keep your heart from breaking and hurting,

but I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces..

Lastly, I’m just here when u need me to care..

Haunting

When all this time I’ve been so hollow inside
I know you’re still there

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down

Fearing you, loving you
I won’t let you pull me down

This is my resolve
Stop haunting me down

..these quiet screams..

Your a soul that wanders in the depths of my miserable life.
While I’m a living proof of hate and anger that dwells in all of humanity.
Hear my soul screaming for compassion,
A soul searching for love and true happiness.
A heart that dwells alone and feeds in the joy of others
But is considered a worthless piece of garbage.
You laughed knowing my heart is being captivated by you,
With a deceiving smile, you have become an obsession.
You speak of words I know nothing about.
You learn things that i haven’t learned
And keeps the knowledge you doesn’t practically need.
Your existence is a threat to myself
And I’m lost between a world of angels and devils dwelling.
An innocent and naive soul that is hidden in patches of hate, anger, greed and lust
Screaming with the desire to know one’s significance.
Screaming with the desire to know my significance in your life…

To where you are..

I want my girl..
to love music because music comforts the soul..
and I don’t care if she keeps on playing a single song on her playlist..

I love my girl..
to wear white shirts..
simple.. and innocent looking..

I want her protected from all the bad things that might hurt her..
I just want to be her hero..

I want my girl to be independent and free spirited..
I want her to do what she thinks is good,
But I’ll be the one who will be there for her if things go bad..

If she becomes quiet, I hope I could read her mind..
so that I may know what might be troubling her..
but not probing enough to invade her privacy..

I want her to be friendly and open to others..
girls.. boys.. I don’t care..
as long as I have her and she loves me back..

I don’t mind if she cant be trusted with money
I know I’m bad at handling finances as well..
But together we’ll learn how to budget as we experience life..

I want my girl to be hygienic..
washing her face and brushing her teeth before going to bed is perfect,
kissing her in the morning after waking up is sweet..

It’s best if she doesn’t drink alcohol,
or smoke.. I hate kissing girls who smoke..

I don’t want her to be too conscious with her diet..
If she gets fat, we can always go to the gym together

I hope she likes ice cream,
I love ice cream especially if it’s coffee crumble,
macadamia nut and almond nut flavored..

I don’t mind if she doesn’t know how to cook,
I love cooking..
and it would be great if I’m the one who’ll cook for her everyday and every night,
treating her like a princess..

I have a feet fetish,
so I want her feet to be small and clean..
and whitish..

I want her fierce, bad ass, sexy
but naive at the same time..

Since I’m not good at basketball and in singing
I want her to be a basketball fan (where’s the logic )
and a singing star that would rock my world..

I want her to soar high,
to climb the highest mountain with me..
And if she’ll fall,
I’ll be there to grab and hold her hand to prevent her from falling..

I want her to be sweet,
cuddling and hugging her would be nice..

If she’d be embarrassed in front of a huge crowd,
I’ll be willing to take the same embarrassment..
We will just joke it out..

I don’t text that much,
yet I want her to keep in touch often
so that I may know if she’s safe or not..

If we’ll have fights,
I don’t care if she’ll rant at me..
but I just hope she’ll have ears to listen to me as well
and together we will solve the issue..

I also want her to have a good sense of humor,
but have patient ears to listen to my corny jokes..

lastly, I want us to be married in different churches
but its economically unwise..
so.. do you have an idea how can I do this?

..hahaizt..

this is not intentioned..

love never is..

Caught off guard..

quick as lightning you fall..

how ironic that when you’re perfectly settled to be alone..

you’re matched with the unlikely person..

then your life begins to change..

See you in heaven Kuya Jude..

It was June 2001, you came in with an attitude that amazed everyone. I could still remember the prank you did to the late comers in our first class. Hilarious! You’ve been a great teacher since then, though some of us failed in your subject. And I hated you for that because I was one of those who flunked.. Still you encouraged me to persevere.. and then I did. Matter of fact, in the first semester of our class, I loathed you.. maybe I was envious coz half of the girls in the class were starry eyed staring at you. Their grades too were high, and mine was just average. And I began to think bad about you..

But things changed on that one normal weekday, February 28 2002. I could still remember arriving to school with a bad air in my head and saw you lecturing about human cycle to my classmates. “Hey, you should suppose to teach us Math, not Biology.”, I screamed at the top of my head. But I just kept it to myself. I listened instead. And I’m glad I did. That time, hearing you lecture about human life and the inevitable death that we have to face got me teary-eyed. And when you told us about how Jesus can save me from eternal damnation..a force struck me. I knew God had reached me through you. And I’m forever grateful that you showed me the WAY.. and prayed for me the night before.

After that, we became close Kuya Jude.. You became my best friend then, confiding all my problems and some nonsense things to you, crush2 ug uban pa . And time got so short that it was near Graduation. Then you asked me, “Unsa na gift imong wla pa nadawatan Wang.”

Then I answered, “Wala pa jud ko kadawat ug Bible sukad. Wala pa sad ko kabasa sukad ana.” Then imo dayun gipaibog imong bible sa ako. hmmf

Then days after that conversation you asked me if I can accompany you to PCBS. Then we’re there and you bought some things, and you made me listen to Steve Green’s songs, etc. I had fun then though first time to nako sa PCBS. Then you just said,”Wang pilii daw ug Bible dri, kanang imong pinakaganahan.. ako man gud iregalo sa akong friend.” Then i chose the Bible i first liked and handed it to you. “Okay, paliton na nako.. unta maganahan to akong tagaan ani.”

Our graduation came, it’s sad to part ways coz I know I’ll be going to college and maybe we couldn’t hang out everytime. Bittersweet. Sad yet happy. I still have the pictures in me. Niwang kaau tang duha..hehehe.. Then when my parents and I we’re about to leave, you called me and handed me a gift. Ana ko, “unsa man ni?”

“Gift nako para sa imo.. kabalo ko ganahan ka ana..”, you replied.

When I opened it, I saw the very same Bible that i had picked at PCBS. WOW! That was really the best gift I’ve got. And it is still here with me. Daghan na kaau notes. You really are the best Kuya Jude. Ganahan jud kaau ko sa imong gift. THANK YOU ..

Then after that I joined Bible camp, I really did enjoy it and thanks for introducing me to the world filled with Jesus Christ.

When, you flew to Manila to join Bible School.. I wasn’t saddened because I met your lovely wife, Ate Yani.. You two are a great couple. And I love to visit Okidokids at those times kai daghan pagkaon si Ate Yani ato.. hehehe.. Food for the stomach and food for the soul. I was also happy to witness you in your wedding day. You and Ate Yani are so happy that i couldn’t be less happier. And that was the last time I saw you Kuya Jude. Wla na ta communication after coz you’ve decided to stay in Iligan. The last words I heard from you during your wedding was, “ayo2 pirmi.. see you in heaven, Wang.”

Remembering these things makes me teary-eyed.. I’m alone now and I could still remember what you told me, that whenever I’m alone.. I’ll just look at my hands and I’ll see the hands of my friends holding mine. And it made me smile. I’m glad I’ve known you Kuya Jude.. see you in heaven indeed.. promise magbinootan na jud ko..

and when its my time.. Kindly give me a warm welcome..

See you in heaven Kuya Jude.. I’ll miss you for now.. :’(

恋の病はどうして私を選んだの。

私の生活はだんだんつまらなくなりました。仕事やお金があり友達がいますけど、幸せを感じることができません。たぶん私は恋人がいないので、彼女がほしいんでしょう。そして、ときどきいろいろな所で恋人同士を見ると、羨ましいです。大変ですよ。

4年前は、彼女がいなくても私の生活は楽しいし、面白いし、素晴らしかったです。でも4年前にも悪い思い出はあります。その年、私は好きな女の人がいて、彼女を本当に愛していましたけど、その人は私をひどく悲しませました。そのため私は元気じゃなくなって、心がいつもいたくて、そして時々泣いていました。その時、本当に死にたいと思いました。だから、じぶんに「恋の病はどうして私を選んだの？」と聞きました。

今までも、私はそのことで傷ついているんだと思います。最近新しく好きな女の人を見つけることができましたが私は怖がっています。私は前と同じように傷つきたくないからです。 みんな、私はどうしたらいいのでしょうか。

Sad But True

This week had been a “major major” shock in the Philippines. The hostage drama was a huge disappointment and it had caused great impacts on the economy, tourism, security, etc. All are pointing fingers to each other for who to blame. The police says its the media’s irresponsible journalism, the media says its the police’s incompetency, others also blame the president for his lack of action, while some blame the church as well. Well here’s what I think, what about we stop blaming each other and do the necessary actions that can clean this shameful event that occurred.

I am sadden that this event had happened and my condolences to the families of the victims. In behalf of the Filipinos, I would like to say sorry to the world for my countrymen’s behavior towards the said event. The photos you are about to see is shocking and I am not proud of these. In utmost disgust, I am desecrating these individuals who are staining the image of every Filipinos. Not all Filipinos are like these.. And to the people in the photos and specially the police.. TUMINO NAMAN KAYO.. BAON NA TAYO SA KAHIHIYAN.. WAG NYO NAMAN DAGDAGAN..

Can’t blame the HK nationals for hating us..

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